Friday, June 20, 2008

Baby, Oh Baby...

So holy crap, today was about babies...

This evening after work, I got to meet the newest arrival to my high school friends' procreation efforts: Baby Girl Miller. Born this afternoon, weighing in at 7 lbs. 8 oz., this lil creature was cute (unfortunately, some people aren't as lucky). Wow, another friend having kids. What's in the water? I mean, we're all so young. (Yes, I realize I'm the matriarch, all old and saggy...but crap, I feel too young for spermination, stretchage, and squirtage).

I was thinking 28 is about the time I'll maybe be ready. Yes, I realize that's "old" for prego-ness...but hello, I haven't traveled the world yet (something I don't wanna do with stretch marks, lol). But then again, that's in 3 years *tear.* I can just feel my skin sag. I'm about to play hacky sack with the girls. Ugh.

Then this evening, not my favorite movie, but one of my favorite movie's sequel, Father of the Bride II was on tonight. Seriously, mother and daughter knocked up at the same time. Not buying it. Anyways, that was round #2.

And holy shit, y'all have to read this story. Nuts. F***ing nuts! Beyond. Seriously, read!

So ya, talk about alien subliminal messages. I got the message, but am shredding it. I think I'll start with a cat first. Sounds smart to me. I know my mom is dying for wook and I to settle (read: commitment via jewelry, lavish party with religious undertones, ridding of preventative procreative measures "which will do a number on women's bodies, mark my word...*continuing drone about BC causing cancer, blah blah blah." I'm not opening the can of worms. Strictly labeling the can of worms. My opinions are not that of my mother's...let's just let those statements stand, lol.).

So lemme get this straight, mom...you want me to pop out puppies. A.) I can't even keep my room clean. B.) I can't decide which shoes to keep, and whether or not I like their fit, and C.) I'm too young. I still have years of selfishness ahead of me. Machu Pichu, hiking the Alaskan wilderness, enjoying Grey Goose tonics with lemon on the rim. Besides, I've aaaalways been a huge advocate of having your friends have kids first. "Sarah, it's crying. Here."

But then again, they always find a way to get back at you. "We should only be gone an hour an a half. Oh, and I think Braxton needs a diaper change. Bye!!!"

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